Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize