well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wear drunk well.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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