U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Say something about gay babies.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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