i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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