6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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