FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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