I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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