what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
