writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
