Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
