Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
