So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
