Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
