He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
