Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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