wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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