Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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