in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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