Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
