bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
