Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
