Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
