Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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