Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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