Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
