i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
