This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
