It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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