those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
