Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
