thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize