at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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