I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
