He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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