I think i peed on brittanys purse
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
