Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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