Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
