he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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