so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
