My nipple is on Facebook.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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