I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
