I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
