i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Someone shit on the floor
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
