Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize