i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
