I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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