if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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