tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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