He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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