do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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