Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
