I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
