I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
