just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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