He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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