someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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