remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
