Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
