WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize