I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
