I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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