where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
