super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
