Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
