drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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