you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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