I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
