Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
