I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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