I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
