If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
