i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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