Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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