Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
