i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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