do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
