quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize